Republicans responses to Trump’s actions over the last year:

Let’s take football games played by teenagers a little more seriously.

NOBODY TELL NIKKI.

Well, that’s it. I’ve gone through the eye of the storm. Gone to the other side of the looking glass. Crossed over. Whatever. However you want to put it, after 35 years as a Dallas Cowboys fan, I’m now actively rooting against my own team.

I forgot rationing is a thing

“Sorry, Zach. We love your heart but you need to have a stronger spine.”
*Colin Kaepernick looks over*
“NOT THAT STRONG!”

Yeast infection.

That one email reminded me of something: Stop calling the fucking owners of your team “Mr. Jeffernut” or whatever as some kind of bizarre form of respect. You’re not talking to the guy, the guy would never, ever talk to you in a billion years because you’re not at his level. How did you prove you’re not at his level?…

Let us ask ourselves if we can imagine any scenario where Michael Jordan would apply criteria to this discussion that in any way might threaten his assumed position at the top of a ranking of modern NBA players.

This is exactly like the press outta North Korea. Not even a joke.

Lets start calling that picture of Taft Fred Trump.

That’s a burner. So Miami doesn’t find out about the cities he’s screwing on the side

Wagner received pushback from the staff for her take, and I don’t agree with it, but it sure as hell isn’t golf. You don’t even have to react to an opponent!

My man loves the movie ‘The Usual Suspects,’ but hates that you never learn who Keyser Söze is.

Might wanna check the last few lines of the post, buddy. (Admittedly, I failed to include any made-up dialogue between Bell and his pitcher. Very sorry if you felt put out by having to imagine that yourself.)

LeBron James will never be as successful as Michael Jordan.

This is fucking fantastic.

Exactly. I hate to name-drop, but [Ryan] Fitzpatrick is still playing!?