I'd like to see him open a candle shop, called Johns Wicks.

I like how one of them has a silencer, what a dork.

Nope, so feel free to shout that to anybody, in any context!

Or in Goodfellas where it sounds like a slightly noisy stapler. A real silencer sounds like a sledgehammer banging against a washing machine.

You get really good portions at Claes Oldenburgers.

"Nice day for a picnic." -Edouard Manet

…meh (shrugging guy emoticon).

I've never taken the effort to specifically defend Polanski and never would, but I really like Chinatown. Does that make one a hypocrite?

I don't want to start rumors, but I heard the 2nd unit assistant rigging technician for this movie was kind of a dick.

I feel like just making them gorier would help a lot. Violence is essential to games like Mortal Kombat and Gears of War. Watering them down to make them pg-13 is really counterproductive.

I'm kind of excited about that one too. It looks like schlock, but really, really good schlock. And Michael Fassbender is really enthused about it.

Oh, so they really are just a bunch of provocation for the sake of provocation shitheads. What a crazy twist.

Man, that is a weird show. I've seen a few episodes of World Peace, and I'm still not really sure what the hell it's supposed to be. Its not really that funny, its offensive in this weirdly old-fashioned early 90's way, and it has this aggressively confrontational dickhead attitude. Its like some inexplicable…

Yeah, same. It sucks that i can't appreciate any latin pop acts, it feels like a huge barrier between me and my family's culture. I've been meaning to get into salsa, but thats different, like getting into classic jazz or something.

I told you. Star wars fans. Was that uh…was that not clear?

Cast whoever the fuck you want disney, i'm not gonna watch this.

Well, yeah, you can't sustain a narrative with an evil that gets no motivation or explanation. But I thought this show was gonna be an anthology series, so there wouldn't be a need for narrative, just a new scare every week. I never thought they'd try this approach. I mean, who would be stupid enough to build a…

You know what always makes a monster scarier? Giving them a complicated backstory and explaining them as part of a larger conspiracy.

I don't know, probably not. I take it back though, I can see why someone would be offended by them. They're very clearly designed to be offensive. And on their face, I could see myself being offended by this material as you described it, but for some reason, they didn't cross the line for me. Comedy is very…

Yeah, I still like Mike, but Jay is much fairer in his reviews.