HEADLINE March 20, 2159

From the picture, I thought the bottom of the stand was like a robot vacuum that follows you around. This is dumb.

How does Executive Producer sound?

I want to see a Spiderman origin story where Uncle Ben murders Bruce Wayne’s parents and then kills himself. I don’t know what the rest is about.

You don’t pay taxes when you’re dead. They figured it out.

I am longing desperately for something original in the Star Wars universe but it’s like it’s illegal to do now or something.

I am a veteran of the War on Christmas. You haven’t seen suffering until a barista hands you a cup of coffee that’s green and red but doesn’t have Santa Claus on it. You haven’t gazed into the unblinking eye of hell until someone says “Happy Holidays” to you on a cold December night. 

I though the same about the gym too. But, I started going back on the weekends and only using a few machines. My gym is dead on the weekends, so it feels safer than most things. Just my experience though.

You’re FINISHED!

Is this the new American dream?

I guess I don’t read much about WW online.

Oh god... you made me realize she raped that guy. I didn’t even think about it when I watched it. Ewe, doesn’t it imply they might date at the end? Seems like WW is headed for a deeply uncomfortable conversation.

It can be called the... Demise Sun.

They have access to the precious Vril. We’re truly doomed now.

You’re right. They’d keep the kid too.

Thanks. Now i think of Qui-Gon as a crypto guy anxious for anyone to listen to him.

They shouldn’t be watching that movie as a family.

They shouldn’t be watching that movie as a family.

Say what you will about these yahoos, but their sign quality is much improved. I can actually read the madness now.

Is your friend named Richard?

I’ll help you, Joe!