The Oscars. I try to go as long as I can without knowing any of the winners. I try to not know any nominees even until the last minute.

I have no idea what the fuck is happening in Egypt.

Honey Boo Boo and her family. I do not give a rat's ass about those inbred hillbillies.

Harlem Shake. Never heard it. Don't really care.

I don't watch those videos of military members surprising their children with their homecomings. I know people find those stories so heartwarming, but those kids already have so much uncertainty in their lives, and now, the next time Mom or Dad goes away (deployment, business trip, whatever), those kids will spend…

Not a news story in the strictest sense, but I refuse to see "Avatar." My husband and I thought it looked dumb from the trailers, but that hasn't stopped us from seeing movies before. Then we saw a clip where the girl alien is yelling at the boy alien in their language and crying and my husband said, "We are NEVER…

I've avoided 2 Girls in One Cup, that girl that ate her tampon, and Justin Bieber peeing. Nope, nope, never, nope.

I didn't do it intentionally, but I've seen nothing of Beyonce's visual album.

I have never heard the song "Blurred Lines". Nor have I seen the music video or the VMA performance with Miley Cyrus.

"What Is the One News Story You Won't Consume?"

I avoided "gangnam style" for aaaages. I remember asking a (younger) coworker what it was and his response was something like "you know what, don't worry, just don't google it or watch it on YouTube, just leave it, you'll be fine" then my 8 year old half brother rocked up at my house to show me his "new dance" and…

I have never been on Facebook. I am not an internet avoider either, I am online everyday but I have never given in to getting a Facebook account or gotten on anyone else's Facebook page for that matter.

For my own sanity, I've never had a Facebook account.

Any news story relating to Pringles is being actively avoided right now.

Not a news story, but I refuse to do Facebook. Never have, never will, and don't understand the obsession. But I feel like a better person for it, and my smug sense of superiority thanks me.

Similarly, sociologist Susan Dewey studied strippers in the Rust Belt and found that they preferred topless dancing to service-sector work, which they saw as far more "exploitative, exclusionary, and without hope for social mobility or financial stability."

Look, it takes a community. I have them at home, the teachers have them at school. If I had to watch them 24/7, I couldn't work or take care of myself, you know in order to pay taxes and take care of them when they are not at school. School is an institution. I do not get paid by the school. I am not superwoman,…

No can do. Those sound like problems at your end. I am dealing with the problems at my end. Deduct points for gum in their mouth during presentations.

I can't concentrate on Miley's contusion. I'm too distracted by the fact that she seems to be lying upon a Goodwill donation pile.

I see shes doing the typical 16 year old girl "omg look how big my ass is!!!! (Even though its really not)" pose. Apparently im 10 years older yet girls stay the same. Matthew maconeghey was right