I didn’t think anything could make Jurassic Park fun for me, but there it is.

I would if it was Shakira’s purse...

Random strangers are supposed to risk being mauled to get her phone back, duh.  I mean, it's just their life and safety, but it's her _phone_!

Apologies to Shakira, but what the hell are you supposed to do in that situation? I'm not gonna fight a boar for a purse

I can’t believe how hard I’m laughing. I’m gonna see a lung in a minute.

I’m trying to figure out how you spend $100 million on a movie about what’s fundamentally a guy working on an engineering problem. I’m assuming it’s going to involve five-dimensional multiverse time travel.

At last, Disney is returning Star Wars to what made it great: meetings.

“How can we trust you, bounty hunter?”

“If you’ll turn to item 37 on the agenda, you will see that I intend to foster an open-door policy where all input is taken on board.”

THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE BOBA FETTS

Let’s all get on one accord about this.  I’m with you. 

Tom Hanks is America’s Dad, and all that jazz, but can we just talk about the adds that continue to make this site/other G/O sites almost unreadable? Do you (the person in charge of implementing adds) or Target (to use an example) think that by pissing off the readers, that maybe we’ll all get irritated enough to want…

The “Bill Murray as cryptid” angle [chef’s kiss]

Doing a quick personal inventory, I realized that I would find this incredibly douchey if almost any other celebrity did this. Hanks might be the only one who gets a pass from me

and i guess Bill Murray, who’s really more of a cryptid

Chet's the only blot on this man's record.

I’m kind of terrified of how bad this script was, considering he said yes to Bewitched. And Curious George. And Land of the Lost. And Daddy’s Home. And Zoolander 2. And The House. And Daddy’s Home 2. And Downhill.

I forgot about Dre. 

No, and it’s not even close. I love Julia Sweeney, but Pat overstayed their welcome by about ten years.

“Disdain for the material” is AV Club’s house style.

I encountered Bob Novak once, and he was a bitter little goblin of a man, which is weird because you think of right-wingers as such cheerful care-free people.

At least not for use on facial hair.

Deuxne.

Dune 2: Spice World