I would just put in $27 and let the waitress keep the 65 cents along with the $5

No thanks. Egg roll??

I don’t know your grandparents, or whether WW2 played a part in their drinking, but as most in their generation had to deal with their parents being part of the prohibition and temperance generation, well, the pattern is pretty clear. Each generation rebels against what the previous generation was not. Which probably…

Actually...you might be on to something. My parents are super straight-edge, no drinking or smoking, etc., to the point where I can drink my Dad under the table without meaning to. Their parents (who had to live through/fight in WWII in the Philippines: I will never get judgy with a soldier who dealt with trauma with…

That’s exactly why I limit it. If I could buy magical 0 calorie beer my consumption would go from an average of 12 beers per week to approximately 50 beers per week. 

Most of the people I know who limit their drinking do it to save their waistline. 

Sick burn bro

I too have had many dates end when they rejected my tip.

Geez, why such a cheapskate?

Try tipping a bartender in the UK. I mean they’ll take it but it’s awkward and weird.

Probably because it sounds like you didn’t tip 20% on top of it.

They won’t do any math. If the bill is $55.12 and I want to tip 20% that makes the total $66.15. Say the were exceptional so I round it up to an even $70 and give them that and tell them to keep the change. The go over to their little terminal/kiosk and tell it that I gave them $70. It says my change should be $14.88.…

I think you’re supposed to leave it in an envelope on the dresser...

Have you ever offered cash to someone and have them not greet it with absolute delight? Guessing not.

Never had to beg.

Except he likes to pay for the entire thing in cash. So like Salty said, just give them enough for the meal and tip and just say keep it. That’s always worked for me.

Here’s a tip (pun intended): next time around tip 125% in cash, wave the stack of bills in the air, while loudly announcing to the entire restaurant the amount you’re leaving at the table. That ought to do the trick. 

It is totally dead. But in this case, there’s a strong chance this person likes to give to charity anonymously and then “accidentally” drop it into conversation.

So, am I paranoid? Overthinking things? Coming across as pretentious?

If you’re dead set on a cash tip for your card payment, throw it into the booklet when you hand your card over to the server. That way they’ll already have it, and you can leave with the rest of your party.