My imaginary great dane loves to lick servers and table tops.

That’s happened before- a lunch lady got fired a couple of years ago for making up shortages like this with her own cash. 

It goes to 11. 

“Ooooh, erotic cakes.”

FUGU ME!

The one my Nana made, that I now make every Thanksgiving, is strawberry jello with thawed frozen strawberries and crushed pineapple, pour half into a 9x13 pan, chill, add a layer of sour cream, then pour the rest over.  Delicious!

Also, cocaine != alcohol.

I *wish* he was a potato. Then he’d have some redeemable qualities, like “crispy when fried” or “fluffy when baked” or “doesn’t scream when mashed.”

I guess it depends on who’s working at the fast food restaurant that day:

No, but they could actually highlight the presence of Reese’s PB Cups more blatantly and attract more buyers. 

It’s wrong to expect a multi-million-dollar company to do something to highlight the differences between their products.  Much easier to blame a child for their mistake.

Hopefully you will never make a mistake that threatens your life.  Assuming you’re human, it could happen.  Shit happens, if manufacturers can make shit happen less, how is that a bad thing?

I am in my 40s. I was born with a wide variety of allergies, which have changed as I age to just a few - the biggest being a specific nut allergy to cashew and pistachio nuts. I’m extremely careful, but have been triggered before. People think cashews belong in pesto for some crazy reason, for example, and I’ve had…

If you’re allergic and have spent your life avoiding peanut butter, you don’t know what it smells like.  And we all know that Chips Ahoy look a bit different in the package than they do on it...

I read that the author of “Love you Forever” wrote the book as a response to a lost pregnancy.  So now, instead of it being creepy, it makes me weep, because it’s too easy to imagine being in that position.

Leslie Patricelli’s board books, with simple drawings of a baby and his adventures, were endlessly amusing to my son when he was an infant and toddler.  They were fun to read, too, and we would make faces along with them.

I would sing “Home for a Bunny” to my son.  He loved it!

I loved “The Little House” by the same author - about a house in the country that gets shabby as the city builds up around it, but then a descendant of the original builder moves the little house back to the country, and all is well.

It adds up, though.  I put an extra buck in for the kids with that same jar at the ice cream shop in my neighborhood.

They’re more funny if you picture David Spade saying them... totally sarcastically.