“we cannot allow items on campus that can be perceived to pose a threat.”

Attention all news outlets:

When I managed a Borders we were also responsible for this small calendar kiosk on the other side of the shopping center. I was there covering someone’s lunch break and this crazed woman came over demanding why we had no bichon frise calendars. The dog calendar people were always the weirdest.

When I was about ten, my friend’s Catholic parents took us to see Jesus Christ Superstar at a dinner theater. After the show was over, we all walked out and saw Jesus and Judas, still mostly in costume, making out on the wraparound deck of the place while smoking a joint.

During the children’s sermon on Christmas Eve, the pastor gave the gifts these gorgeously wrapped presents. The kids opened them and the boxes were empty - he was building to something. So he asked the kids if they knew why their boxes were empty? Much much louder than he anticipated due to the fine ascoustics in the…

America’s GOP is gonna gobble this up, though. They too feel like soldiers by association, wealthy by virtue of their allegiances, and free by comparison to the people whose freedoms they limit. They are a party of cultural appropriations, fantasizing about an authoritarian status quo that might just rub off on them.

You are part of an ancient thing that doesn’t know what it is, and can’t.

Seriously, I have friends who also engage in sex work and the way people treat them as a result is disgusting. Like, how is selling your body for sex different than selling it for labor? Sex work is just another type of work. If you’re exploited at your office, you’re not considered vile and disgusting, the person…

“Oh my god it’s just a joke don’t take it so seriously”

Food, and shelter are pretty high up on the list of things “in this world that you need so badly to have to put up with this treatment from people”

Ah service jobs (food/retail/anything). Where pretty much everyone has at least one story that ends with “and then I went and cried in the bathroom.”

“Uh, yeah- these doves are a total health code violation.”

You mean it’s fjord-flavored? But what flavor were the fjords before they put the ice cream in?

God, that last one is like a Monty Python sketch. It’s ex-ice cream! It’s ice cream pining for the fjords!

Big Business, Organized Labor, and the Tea Party are all sitting around a table. A plate of delicious warm cookies arrives. Big Business takes 11 of the cookies then turns to Tea Party and points to the remaining cookie and says "psst! Organized Labor is trying to take your cookie!"

You know what, I’m going to copy&paste a really good post I saw on Tumblr. Not my words, but I wish they were because they are so right.

The close-ups reaaaaally make the onions look like earthworms though. Delicious earthworms.

I think that one deserves the full face palm mosaic.

I would just like to say that I lost more than 50 lbs in 4 months—without ever counting a single calorie!—just by having severe gastrointestinal problems combined with depression so overwhelming I couldn’t make myself eat even when my system could handle it.

This picture will forever be iconic: