This movie basically already exists. It's called ROAD HOUSE.

I could watch this trailer all daiye

Has it now come to pass that there are AVC commenters too young to remember The Sopranos?

No, Billy Eichner is the former CEO of Disney.

Is living in Philly not enough of a reason?

Jeff Ross roasted inmates at a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.

I've always preferred highbrow humor; e.g. a guy getting blasted in the balls with a copy of Infinite Jest.

Who among us wouldn't go back in time and kill baby Jonathan Davis?

Always
Be
Closeted

Counterpoint: FKA Twigs is amazing and her voice and music are highly dynamic.

I have personally received one of those as my tip, from a table of 12, 8 of whom were kids - messy little shits whose parents let them run around the restaurant like it was their goddamn backyard. It's been over 10 years and it still burns my ass.

Charles Pierce refers to him as "Obvious Anagram"

I think he's the greatest, but my dad says he doesn't work hard enough on defense.

I did see Miles Teller's name being thrown around somewhere…

How could we all have been so blind. Been. Four letters. 1-2-3-4. Four Washington Lane! The next clue is at the White House!

I mean, at least he lets Yoshi wait outside the ghost houses, fortresses & castles.

So let's get down to brass tacks here. Were there pay phones at the Best Buy or not?

I would like to point out that there being "no particular reason to" do something has never stopped anyone on 4chan from doing anything ever. I agree with your 2nd point, though.

I don't know how old you are, but I was 16 when it came out and didn't fully appreciate it until I watched it again a couple of years ago in my 30's. Maybe give it another go.

Boogie Nights is boring?