Most analysts put his net worth in the $1.5 - 2 billion range (one said it may be as low as $150 million), but he's supposedly going to declare he's worth $9 billion in the disclosure to the FEC, because narcissism.

So you're saying you'd be rock hard?

DARKNESS
NO PARENTS

Guy with a comedy degree walks into a bar…

Now you can be condescending when your coworkers don't laugh at your jokes.

I don't need a degree to be funny, guys. Just look at this over-sized cowboy hat I'm wearing! Hilarious!

Any time I read or hear a defense of the confederate flag, I say in my head, "…of slavery" after every instance of the words "heritage" and "culture."

If I recall correctly from watching a promo of Collateral on HBO, the coyote shot was not planned at all; Mann saw it in the street and just grabbed his digital camera and started shooting.

Fair enough.

*Timmy strikes out*

Case Closed is another good anti-conspiracy book. The only real issue Bugliosi took with it was that the title was a bit pretentious; i.e. that the "case" was "closed" long ago, when the Warren Commission determined Oswald did it and acted alone (though admittedly the Warren Commission got some stuff wrong, e.g. the…

Thanks!

Title and/or author of the recent Manson biography you prefer? I'd like to check it out.

My favorite work of his is Reclaiming History, which is essentially him prosecuting Oswald for killing JFK and acting alone, then proceeding to tear down every major conspiracy theory. It's extremely long, and his tone is a bit grating, but it's astoundingly thorough and well-researched, and his narrative of the 4…

Best. B-E-S-T. Four. Four Washington Lane! The next clue is at The White House!

I'm on Chrome and I'm getting them. It's not Disqus. It's auto-play ads before some shitty The Onion video. Most of them are automatically muted, but sometimes they fuck up and come on full blast.

Not a virus. I'm getting them too. AV Club, you should get rid of this shit. It's fucking terrible.

…and that was the last time I took stock tips from a squirrel.

Well, I have dozen of slaves. I have four slaves. Move on, next question. Yes?

He just figured out his name isn't actually Jesus Christ.