Note to self:  Learn how to take money and turn it into more money.  Then, kill Chuck Lorre.

It's a pastry joke.  Please, do try to keep up.

More like "Rolling in the Dough."

"Kids, if you keep doing that duckface nonsense in all the pictures on the facebooks and the twitters, your face will stick that way.  Just look at that Ashley Tisdale; her parents sure must be disappointed."

What if she farted?

RoboCop and Die Hard may be the only 2 things keeping me from cancelling right now. 

HOW….in the name of ZOD'S BUTTHOLE…do I DEAL with this KRYPTONITE?!?!

Worst pseudonym ever?

@avclub-5751693536add9cb4b813590b0fedbf9:disqus If you're going to name-drop, try Hendrick's.  It goes better with your condescending attitude, is superior to Tanqueray in just about every way, and it makes a better martini.

@avclub-5751693536add9cb4b813590b0fedbf9:disqus The reason I drink is because it makes people like you more tolerable.  How's the view up there from the other end of your nose?

Best Sterling-ism:  "I hear he lost his foot."  "Right when he got it in the door."

Don will show up at Joan's drunk to find him beating her, and he'll kill him.

I read that as channels "L" and "6"

I would prefer the sentence to read "…a sign she's masturbating as a person."

Rihanna, sweetie, repeat after me:  "You can NOT stand under my umba-rella."

Too much doucheiness, what with this and Brett Ratner being posted back-to-back, has caused a newswire malfunction.

Here you go:  (NSFW!!!)

"Did I go to Wendy's twice yesterday?"

My mother was not impressed by the fact that I ordered Sir Mixalot's "Put 'em on the Glass" about 14 times one night.

No way, Atomic mouth