He who denied an obsession with weiners, supplied an obsession with weiners.

Greater Chimdale County Man!

It was funnier when he wasn't a known pedophile. No wait, it's funnier now. Aww…I don't know.

Terry Crews has already filled the quota.

I would kill you and everyone you've ever loved for one more day in 6th grade.

With such a self-satisfied look on his face, too.

Hitler didn't like cats. So anyone who doesn't like cats is Hitler. And Stalin. And was probably born in Kenya.

Kittens are just about my favorite thing in the world, so I am all for stories that show pictures of them, regardless of context.

Was she your wife, and did George Costanza claim to have had sex with her?

I'm the opposite, in that I have watched countless hours of SBTB, but I have no memory of Zack dating a girl in a wheelchair. Which leads me to believe it was a Tori episode, which I've done my best to forget.

Has anyone ever met a self-described Ron Paul fan who wasn't a smug, obnoxious blowhard?

Is that the same as the D.E.N.N.I.S. System?

Um…okay, I'll bite: how exactly is cancer not funny?

You'd be surprised how little that comes in handy in everyday life.

There is no lonelier feeling in the world than being way behind the rest of the world on a great tv show. I finally started watching Breaking Bad-I am now five episodes in. And there is no one to talk to about it, since everyone else talked about it in fucking 2008.

I do, and now I'm sad.

Can you believe some people think Portugal was a real place?

She had that body, so they called her "Hotler".

Fapping means masturbating. I learned this recently, and want to show off. Someone praise me, please.

The orgies?