I just resist the urge and say to myself, "Good. He's still working. Good for him."

It's like his cuff links are coming at me from the screen.

It's like they forgot after the third one that McClane was supposed to get hurt doing all that crazy shit.

Frontal naked William Sadler?

They're always waiting to see how he contrives a way for his wife to show up jumping around in a skin tight outfit.

Coming Back to America

A friend of my older brother had the album (or maybe it was his dad), and that group of friends all had a copy recorded onto cassette. We would listen to it about once a week. Years later when I began working in high school, a lot of the guys in lower management were part of my brother's old group of friends and still…

He used to be one of the best stand-ups. Now that his brother is actually doing stand-up himself, I wonder who's going to help him on writing material. I'd like to see Murphy return to his original medium, and I'd like for him to succeed. I think that may take quite a while to get back into form. That's the thing I…

They wanted him to do the Cosby sketch, but he refused.

*Norton proceeds to begin a strange order of fluttering hands and tip-toeing foot moves in front of a large box.*

Delirious and it's album release (recorded on a different night) still crack me up. My co-workers and I used to quote the shit out of it at work, totally confusing anyone who hadn't heard it. This was 15 years after it'd been released.

I know, right? What about the lactose intolerant people?

Tell me about it. He's the asshole that got them to stock nothing but granola in the vending machines.

No, Jim Satan down in accounting. You know. The guy who talks about his model airplanes all the time.

Those guys at least deserve a YouTube series.

All gunfights are replaced by dance-offs.

He's Canadian.

Just stay away from the cream filled.

They'll live out the rest of their days dancing way too close to the buffet on the Monday-Thursday shifts.

No, they'll just think you're even more pathetic trying to get off to still clothed women.