Is it rock ‘n’ roll to be two hours late? It depends on what he was doing in those two hours. Was he snorting coke off prostitutes? Or was he playing bridge? I just know his name - Justin. Whatever. I don’t know anything about him. I know people really fucking hate him, don’t they?

Sorry, lads, but there can only be one Oasis.

Me and my missus, we were at the Coachella festival a couple of years ago and Radiohead were headlining. We were like, ‘Right, let’s give them one more chance. Let’s go and see them.’ Beautiful, sunny night. We walked out through the crowd as they came on, and they were playing this post-techno: ‘de-de de de’. We were…

Sounds like Robbie Fucking Williams doing a drunken karaoke rendition of an Ed Sheeran track.

Liam’s rude, arrogant, intimidating and lazy. He’s the angriest man you’ll ever meet. He’s like a man with a fork in a world of soup.

He's both.

Fake Gallagher!

No parody, mate.

Still a wanker.

Now if we could only get rid of Man U, things would be A LOT better.

Spot on, mate. Spot on.

"Noah, Liam, William, Mason, and James are the top boys names."

He was fucking in the bushes.

"It retails at about $360 U.S. dollars."

You are right.

I'd stop now if I were you.

Absolutely.

I’m aware that Radiohead have never had a fucking bad review. I reckon if Thom Yorke fucking shit into a light bulb and started blowing it like an empty beer bottle it’d probably get 9 out of 10 in fucking Mojo. I’m aware of that.

"I don’t think I can live in a world where Ed Sheeran is headlining Wembley. When you hear that kind of polished pop and then there’s a ginger guy with a fucking guitar it seems subversive, but it’s fucking not."

No.