His dissection of the stock characters is great. For me, it's a toss-up between "Guy Visited by Homicide Detectives who won't Stop Unloading Crates" (Lemony gets in a good line about that in this article) and "The New York Bartender who Remembers Everyone Who's Ever Come in his Bar Ever".

And she was going for Captain, not Sergeant.

John Mulaney said it best, covering, really, all of the show's stock characters, but including "Guy Visited by Homicide Detectices Who Won't Stop Unloading Crates":

I was never really a huge fan of his character, save for the
unintentionally hilarious homespun expressions that used to come out of his mouth. I'm trying to picture a presidential campaign run on those kinds of nonsequiturs: "Thompson: He'll bring the deficit lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut."

I love how when Falk hits on a joke, no matter when, he keeps it in his back pocket to share it with everyone on this show. Case in point: "Daniel Craig? He looks like an upset baby!" is a joke Falk himself made on his comedy troupe The Film Pigs old vlog (all videos still available on their website and YouTube) when…

By the time this song was a hit, I was smart enough to not buy an album based on the strength of a single song, so it's ironic that 10 years after the fact, when I finally heard the album as a whole, I realized that it would have been a really happy accident if I had actually bought it in '99. The rest of the record…

I saw the words "clean signing", and that was enough to make me cringe. Add in the phrase "Avenged Sevenfold" and "Killswitch Engage", and the album lost me without having even heard a note. Sucks to see them on a downslide. Maybe the new Black Dahlia Murder will cheer me up. They don't know the meaning of the words…

This, specifically, I would get behind wholeheartedly, and it's due solely to another Cornell memory—the guy whose dorm room was next to mine, he played it CONSTANTLY. I think he either really loved The Offspring, or it was the only CD he owned, but regardless of its quality, I still can't stand that record and wasn't…

It's all good. I know Body Count did a tour on Warped one year, too, and I'd have been down for that, as well, but I enjoyed the hell out of his rap set, even though I generally can't stand rap. Eminem was just starting to bust out on the mainstream scene at the time, but his set was weak. He just felt like a…

I think I have the first three Warped comps, although I haven't a damn clue as to where they are. First one was my favorite. Opened with a really kick-ass Bad Religion song, I think, and there was a really great one from Pennywise on it, too.

The yelling kids don't bother me. I love extreme metal (which As I Lay Dying and Autumn to Ashes aren't, but still), but I know what this tour was like in its heyday, and the shit they're putting on the bill right now is really doing a disservice to it. The tour might have outlasted all the others from the 90s, but…

I'll give Static-X a pass (RIP, lead singer Wayne Static, who just died this spring). I saw them on a club tour in Syracuse, NY, along with Chevelle (sucked), Dope (REALLY sucked), and headliners Sevendust. This would have been around fall of '99, I'd say. Sevendust stole the show, and while Static-X was incredibly…

This reminded me of what my hair looked like at Warped in '99, which was an attempt to copy what Deftones vocalist Chino Moreno's hair looked like in the poster I had of them on my dorm room wall. Whether the look was a good move, I'm not entirely sure (leaning towards not), but I actually managed to get it down…

Be sure and tell her…SATAN SATAN SATAN SATAN!!!

Pretty cool way to keep your pants up.

Blink put on a pretty good set in '99. It was before Enema blew up really big, and I recognized them more because I had just seen the first "American Pie" movie in the theatre the night before (they played the garage band in the webcam montage). Of course, the first words out of Mark Hoppus's mouth were "Suck me,…

I saw Orange 9mm on the Tour in '99. I hadn't thought much of what I'd heard from them, but their set was actually really good, even though they were stuck on the pretty tiny Stage 4 that day.

I went to college with Greg Graffin at Cornell. Well, I was in college; he was getting his PhD, but I did run into him a handful of times. Very cool and very smart dude, and then I got to see him at his day job on Warped.

Ah yes, Rancid. I was in the first five "rows" of the crowd for their set but only because the people I was with were big Hepcat fans, and they were on that stage after Rancid, and my buds wanted a good spot early. It's been 17 years, but I remember thinking that Rancid lived up to their name, because they SUCKED, yet…

I forgot about Suicidal. They were really good. Ice-T's set was awesome. He was literally flying in from LA to the show in Buffalo and was a bit late, so the promoters put on a slot filler from one of the bands that was supposed to have the day off. They played for 10 minutes or so until Ice turned up during their…