I guess Scientology deserves that.

I would be impressed that someone could say "eurgh".

Somebody has to be cheaper than Lily Tomlin and it's not gonna be Dolly Parton.

I really don't want a Journey song blackout for Game of Thrones. You just know we're gonna wind up with "Lovin', Touchin' and Squeezin"" and that will be in my head forever.

The twelfth of never is already a song.

I just like saying shuttlecock.

Horse brutality? All I asked was to use your phone.

Well laundry sucks.

Are you done now? Because I could really use the bathroom.

Yes, but have you seen her back?

Dad, why did you take me to a gay steel mill?

Oh my God Debbie!

It never ends well when the answer is tentacles. But what the hell. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

The fucking gym is more expensive than the non-fucking gym. It's also dirtier.

They were wonderful. What are you complaining about?

Was she a volleyball at the time or was it just spoilers?

Mexico would be nicer to you if you stopped stealing Mexico's food and making it worse.

How would she know?

When Ann Richards and Molly Ivins died Texas lost a lot of friends.

I was the rare exception that did not look like Winston Churchill.