The Hammer books aren't so much crap as pulp. They're like the pulpiest of the pulp novels. They weren't meant to be well-written. For what they are they are perfect.

Some girls give me money
Some girls buy me clothes
Some girls give me jewelry
That I never thought I'd own

It was meant to attack the other albums in your collection. Zipper up or zipper down.

Now that's not the way to get what you want. You know how to talk dirty to me that turns us both on and that is not it. Now get back into your cage until you learn how to behave.

Ljubljana got the look! She's got the hook!

Sausage and mushroom for me. Red sauce is good but garlic cream if I can find it. Still don't want the fold.

My favorite is still (back in the paper only days) when Yugoslavia broke up and the headline was The Country Formerly Known as Prince.

Free pizza and coke.

If only that was the worst thing that bastard's done.

You were tied to that whipping post, Jessica.

When the crust is crispy there's no problem picking up the middle pieces.

Of course we are. Why else would we live here?

We like crispy crust up here. Thin, crispy. We're close to Chicago but we don't like that doughy thing that they sell to tourists. We also don't understand that NYC thing that can be folded. Doesn't it crack? Why doesn't it crack? Why is it bendable? What did they do wrong?

You haven't been to Wisconsin. We start with the round pizza but cut it in squares. It helps to keep the crust crispy.

Come for the coke. Don't bother with the "pizza".

If that asshole would simply treat his employees like people they wouldn't need to make much more money by selling coke.

Meanwhile Gary sits in his car. Feels safest of all.

I know. We need more coke dealers than that. How will they ever meet the demand?

http://www.theonion.com/art…

Well once you have a little coke you want a little more. And once you have a little more coke you want more. And once you have more coke you are convinced that, well yes another line. By then you're feeling less like a chump and more like a Trump. If that were a good thing.