At this point I think she already got accepted into MIT or whatever, but she just keeps sending her parents college essays in hopes that they will actually pay attention to their most successful and ambitious kid who is about 18 months away from a nervous breakdown in the middle of a Intro to Gender Studies lecture.

With everyone basking in the glow of Parks and Rec, it's pretty nice to look back at a show that truly earned all the happy endings they delivered and didn't go so overboard as to show everyone at the peak of their success.

I'll always remember the time you and the J. Jonah Jameson parody account had a flirtatious exchange of bon mots.

B to the O to the double S, do what he says and you'll be success…ful.

"Which one of these buttons do you press to call your mom to pick you up?"

I get the feeling that AMPAS isn't as overwhelmingly liberal as people like to portray it. Plus American Sniper is just an outright blockbuster in an era of remakes and comic book franchises. There has to be a contingent of voters who would love to see it win Best Picture just to remind their industry that it's still…

He initiated a government shutdown, demanded 40% budget cuts and used intimate relationships with private businesses to bring Pawnee into solvency. Ben's basically an idyllic version of Paul Ryan.

I think everyone's dealt with that by ignoring his TBS show as he continues to be the least relevant late night host in the country.

Underrated ones: When he visited Montreal and all the random people on the streets reinforced every negative stereotype about French Canadians, and the one where him and a writer go apartment hunting and by the end the realtor looks like she's going to kill herself.

This reminds me of a bunch of people watching John Wick and actually thinking the whole "They killed his dog thus he MUST murder 500 people" angle was totally plausible.

SWEET SASSY MOLASSEY!

Kumail can take something as nauseating and pathetic as a Twitter battle with Marc Maron and make it hilarious, so he really does have a gift.

No, a talk show host should technically be able to talk. Jimmy Fallon can't hold a conversation, his fake laughter is worse than Letterman/Conan/Leno/Kimmel put together and for a guy who has gotten the "Create a viral video that gets shared all week" thing down pat he still insists on doing a monologue even though he…

"Maybe you all are homosexuals."

And Gawker, and AV Club, and Slate, and Salon, and Buzzfeed. It truly is a sad day for 23 year old employees of media conglomerates who get paid to write "Watch Jon Stewart EVISCERATE Big Fried Chicken" headlines.

Jimmy Fallon's best talent is getting other talented people to do stuff in his presence.

We had the same set-up. The on-duty cop was actually the same guy who ran the D.A.R.E. program for our middle schools, so the only possible way we could have even less respect for him was if he shot himself in the foot, which he did during my junior year.

What's the female equivalent for "Looks like I dropped my monster condom for my magnum dong?"

I never read the books, watched every movie and could follow the plot and prophecies and all that crap. The biggest problem was by changing directors every 1-2 movies there's no consistency in any of the characters. I thought Harry was just a whiny sack of shit and Dumbeldore was fairly stupid, and my book-reading…

The first two seasons were because Walt and Jesse were fairly stupid and managed to escape every sticky situation on pure luck. Seasons 3-5 had a much more competent, ruthless Walt and an emotionally conflicted Jesse.