I haven't seen my wife in like, nine years. I'm starting to think maybe she's the wrong person for me.

WHY DONT YOU PUSH HIM IN?

More like LAME-dropper! (Kills self)

Do we REALLY want a president who's on a first name basis with James Franco? Thanks a lot, OBUMMER!

Check your beeping machine.

And it is an incredible performance.

I always forget he made Thank You For Smoking. Other than that, he's never made a film that wasn't infuriating.

Where is the Dafoe/Goldblum "chase" scene from Grand Budapest Hotel? Also, Joaquin Phoenix's last scene in The Immigrant. WHERE ARE THESE SCENES, GODDAMNIT

He's ripping the gay out of that guy. I think he might be a bigot or something.

Go back to Hell, demon.

So you like Creed now?

Where in God's name is Noah? That thing was maybe the worst film ever made by a good director.

The only thing that sucked in Godzilla was the dude from Kick Ass. So, like half the movie.

That's it. That's the reason. Thanks!

I love Rick Springfield. For some reason.

I would totally be fine with Billy Bob as the bad guy again. Aces.

Joseph Gordon Levitt is Hailey Joel Osmond in The Alan Ruck Story!

This seems reasonable.

What is it with Ricks?

Good. Fuck his "Truther" nonsense. Fuck it right in the butt.