"These pipes are clean!" is my go to for paraphernalia maintenance.

Darn It! (O-o-h Child things are going to be get easier….)

For some reason the song "O-o-h Child" pops into my head and I find myself singing it at least once a week. I'm not sure why but I think that when I do I feel a need to reassure someone (maybe myself).

I've always hated "Cocksucker" as an insult. The cocksuckers in my life are some of my favorite people.

the swinger?

Turning Yosemite into Trump International Cannon Golf Course seemed like an impossible dream but then….

I'd like to think that future wars won't be fought over antiquated ideas concerning religion or skin color but rather opinions over the latest direction in the Star Wars franchise. We will call these wars The Big Hostilities.

Neither did many an American Hero.

They are bully sidekicks.

As long as they start the conversation, "I'm not a racist but…."

Franklin's still my favorite though I believe I would like to smoke a bowl with all of them…

So what you're really saying is… Reboot!!

It used to be about the music man, now all you young kids just dig the fashion.

Humans are lazy.

"Twenty five - three tons of her."

It depends on who you pee on.

My ex-wife dropped our 19 yr old daughter off at the Saint Louis Bus Terminal and cried afterward because the place was such a shithole.

We're so far from the date you'd have to kill him by that anyone who tried would cease to exist because of the changes that occurred before their birth. Then they would not be around to go back and kill him…. Unless, true love or a wizard were to intervene.

If you kill him before he's President will the secret service even care?

"it was a goof!"