Dear Lord, Milana is amazing.

I'll admit to buying Mike's at walmart because I don't like wine and wanted to get drunk without pounding a ton of beers. Bless me, father, for I have sinned.

Christ, you people are making me think I've been missing out by not drinking beer in the shower.

Harsh, bro. Of the people in Point Break, Keanu is clearly the vampire.

"Frodo, you got any weeeeed?"

C+? Christ, Dowd, this movie is better than Manchester and Mortensen is better than Affleck the Younger.

Massage parlors.

I cherish my inverted crosses.

That's not the Hair Plugs Pope?

The former Minnesota Viking?

The New Yorker.

They're never old enough.

In 15 years they'll just be called Gruppenfürers.

My favorite actor? Yeah it's a toss-up between Woody and Viggo.

Yeah, I was just shitting on the short-lived Mcconaissance.

It's funny that you're talking quality of writing as if Martin were some kind of bard.

I feel bad for you, son.
I got 99 problems and a book ain't one.

Is that a Brad Pitt or a Trump quote?

I'm making a list of Trump voters in my area called "To Cannibalize First."

You haven't given up on the idea of ever reading it? You've got patience, my friend.