When I was a child, I spoke like a gibbering psychopath, I thought like a spree killer, I reasoned like a racist.

I’m fascinated by the dichotomy of the amount of hours grown men will pour into proving they are the very best at a children’s game, all while games like Halo and Grand Theft Auto are filled with foul-mouthed 12-year-olds.

So why was flying to St. Pete to play as the home team in front of 3 busloads of people chaperoned from an old folks’ home preferable to playing as the home team in Dallas, where they’d be closer to home and be able to raise a hell of a lot more money for the hurricane relief?

Do you think the Astros should fuck right off too? By refusing the Rangers’ offer, they said no to tens of thousands of dollars for Houston relief efforts.

It’s only good for proving to Dottie that you are in fact in Texas.