This is a really good idea for an episode, or even more than one. The first could play on Pacifica's discomfort with her feelings, but when she realizes that inferior Dipper is not interested in her, she becomes darkly obsessed with him, leading to further conflicts in future episodes. I want to see this!

In fairness, they did set this up a long damn time ago, as they reminded us with the Tinkerbell flashback. And why should any woman be happy with just children in their lives? Was it so much better when she had the sheriff as her cursed sex slave? Frankly I'd think it would be lazier to turn her into some kind of…

Oh, don't cry! There's no need to cry! Listen, have you tried spending a minor holiday consuming booze, pills, weed, coke, and hookers? Try that, and tell us if you are still sad.

When you say the Pilates instructor went on to climb to the top of the mountain, I assume you mean "bang the bejeezus out of Darabont's best girl."