Wow, this is my first AV Club F since Dexter. This is a special moment for me.

If your question is ultimately: "should I watch Teen Wolf?" My response would be: "Sure, if you like masochism."

Bless.

After last season, I was really put off of Teen Wolf. It was really sad, because I loved the show for a long time, but I just couldn't bear to watch the writing continue to circle the drain. Also, Derek's gone, so there goes my eye candy.

As someone who's relatively unfamiliar with the Batman canon, I didn't have a lot of expectations for this. Really the only thing that disappointed me was that the show treated me like such an ignorant viewer that it felt the need to slap me in the face with each villain introduction and character moment instead of…

Exactly. If I were the sheriff in that situation, I would not think, "My son's girlfriend is a weird wild girl." I would think, "Oh, her family must like to hunt." Which, considering the sheriff's experience with Mr. Tate, would be a reasonable assumption. But the sheriff knows Malia's situation, so I would think he'd…

Lol, is he a Phoenix? I figured he was like the Daenerys Targaryen of Teen Wolf.

It counted for me! Hey-oo!

Maybe. Venison at a restaurant would be pricey. But I think her saying "deer" is what made him nervous. In most people's minds, that's probably like saying "calf" instead of "veal."

Do they really use the "because werewolves" excuse on set? Even if it's as a joke, that really puts the writers in a bad light.

I had to look up what NTR was cause apparently I'm old, but yeah, I found that hilarious. But what killed it for me was when the Sheriff asked her what she wanted to eat, and she said, "Pizza." I was like, come on, Malia. Let the silver fox sheriff take you out for some venison. You don't want shitty pizza just cause…

My favorite part, besides the remote claymore that I have no clue how a rural sheriff's department would own, was Braeden shooting off, like, 10+ rounds from her shotgun before they showed her reloading. I guess being a U.S. Marshal gets you some weirdly modded weapons?

Derek with sex healing powers. I'd watch that show.

Yeah, those were my thoughts. :/ Unless Parrish had something to stanch that wound before getting Chris proper medical attention, he shouldn't even be alive at all. So, IDK, I guess Parrish has magical healing powers even though we have no clue what he is or what else he can do besides make his eyes glow? I also like…

Maybe Chris Argent got it on with Derek, too, and that's how he got healed.

Completely stray thought: did the show just forget that Chris Argent was dying from a pipe/rebar thing jammed in his stomach last episode? Or did that get magically healed just like Braeden's near-mortal gunshot wounds got healed when she got it on with Derek?

At first when I saw the evolved!Derek wolf, I thought it was Parrish. :/ But then I saw the blue eyes. I guess making him a straight up wolf would be too simple.

Even bigger letdown: no Danny. :(

So my missing the first scene aside, I was sitting on the couch watching this episode with my husband, and he kept complaining about the fact that everyone in the gunfight was shooting from the hip. And in reflecting on that now, I think that's a really neat assessment of the season as a whole. It felt like the…

Unfortunately, I couldn't properly watch the entire first scene because of sound issues with my cable box, so I missed Kate's Machiavellian speech about why and how she did what she did, but it sounds like there wasn't much to miss? When Scott was Berserkered, he was wholly under Kate's control, right? Does anybody…