Verily, why doth the denizens of Roanoke speaketh in an unintelligible tongue? Ponder the truth that the Queen's Colony was founded whilst Shakespeare wrote, yet these knaves converse in a long forgotten dialect.

He also built a fine barn, English.

Uh, Tony, please no. I just ate a while plate of dingamagoo

Narrator, I love these but this is the textbook definition of a wall of text.

Batman's a scientist!

Clue: People who annoy you

Uhhh yeah, I'm gonna need you to cum in on Saturday…

"What if, like, your only power was that you could carbonate any beverage?"
You make a quality living as the manager of a bottling company?

We finally got some Nic Cage in our AHS. So pleased

Except Ben Harmon WAS magic. His magical powers were limited to crysturbating and gazebo building however.

You're right, the outrage went right over the cliff with faux-Frank and Murder Santa. This episode was SUPER exposition heavy, but I'm in thrall to this show and along for the ride.

Agreed. This is possibly one of the only shows I actually have to put my laptop down and just soak in

Gotta be "Don't make me drop a house on you". Honestly great.

As a frat boy, I thought we we're actually going to get a fair representation for once, what with reasonable, affable Evan Peters, but then the roofies came out and I was like uggggggghhh

Yea, that was my thought, why not just pull the plugs or something, but the way she did it it didn't look like murder I suppose. She got into murdering people AWFUL quick tho

They probably have a student exchange program.

This was totally great, and we're really getting Evan Peters Frankenstein plus Zombies? Awesome.

@avclub-b31378bbfb701dc33efdb269aa01e844:disqus 
I appreciate the effort, but there are some problems here. When the Tudor line died out, England went to the Stuarts. After the English Civil War and the usurpation of England by the House of Orange, it went to the House of Hanover/Brunswick following Anne's death. When…

Don't forget that the King of England during the Revolution was basically the elector of Brunswick who came to the throne of England after the death of Queen Anne. Basically, it was a German guy sitting on the throne of England (still is in someways I suppose, what with the House of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha).

With the continued focus on Hessians apparently (even to this day, everyone from Hesse is EVIL!) I'll bet we get Hitler somewhere down the line too.