I laughed uproariously multiple times throughout this episode (mostly the explanations, but also Burke's hilarious mouth-breathing Frankenstein look when seeing the ruins of Boise). I don't know what letter grade that counts as, if such a letter exists in this or any alphabet.

My eyes rolled so hard at the "someone good" line they popped right out of my skull and tumbled to the floor. I have a greedy dog that will eat anything that gets within 3 inches of the floor; please send help.

I think WP has a while to go before it hits Full Dome (it hasn't turned into an impossible Lament Configuration puzzle of misery and contradictions yet), but if it does I will be happier than a pig in shit.

It has been a long time since a lead character has bored me so relentlessly and ruthlessly as Ethan Burke does. There are some actors that just ooze charisma, but whatever Matt Dillon is oozing here is just viscous and greasy.

Devil was a blast. It was released on my birthday, and my group of friends and I went to a theater where you can order as much booze as you want. It was an otherwise empty theater, and the experience was amazing. My girlfriend and I still yell that the devil is in our apartment if one of us drops toast and it lands…

This is a win-win for me. Either the stars align and I get a derivative but watchable Twin Peaks-y/Prisoner-y yarn, or Shyamalan chews through whatever straightjacket and face mask Fox probably has him in and sends it careening off the rails into the realm of transcendental garbage.

The only one I was really impressed by how accurate it sounded was "Take them clothes off", but turns out that's just the real lyric.

You know a show's got an uphill battle when it sounds like a fancy cannibal on another network is doing a much better job at being Satan than even the actual Old Scratch himself ever will on his own show.

Grey's Anatomy is a member of a small but very elite group of shows that routinely surprises me. Not through any shocking swerves in the writing, because I have never seen any of the shows in this special category. It's because reminders that they still exist upset the reality I've crafted for myself wherein they were…

Spoken like a true heathen. I plan to die watching Hannibal. My body is going to be a cool murder statue *and* a really delicious appetizer, thank you very much.

If there's one plot contrivance I just can't fucking stand, it's keeping characters out of the loop of an important plan purely for the sake of some obvious hackneyed drama. Especially when said plan entails a combination of ludicrously high
stakes, comes with equally high risk of failure, and requires the
opposing…

I'll freely admit this may be a question so dumb and blindingly obvious that it might inflict Scanners-level head trauma on anyone who reads it, but here goes: was there any point to seeing the random Christian missionary hot-metal test twice? At all? At first, when it looked successful, I was wondering if they were…

I think we're all morally deficient, every last one of us. That's why we need to acknowledge it and work to minimize damage we inflict on others. And that means not writing things off as flippant and oblivious and washing our hands of it.

Oh man, there it is. The angry nerd Niemöller bastardization. Let me guess: if Oswalt cries "save me!", you'll look down and whisper "No"?

I can kind of see your argument, but I just don't see taking refuge in stereotypical jokes at the expense of disenfranchised others as a coping mechanism at all. How is allowing bigotry (at worst) and lazy lack of empathy (at best - and this is by far more common than the former) to fester in you "sane and positive"?

Or maybe, just maybe, having an extremely difficult, oppressed upbringing should by all reasoning make one more sympathetic to issues you don't have.

This sums up my frustration nicely. Everyone's said or done something scummy in their lives. My ignorant 16-year-old self better pray time machines are never invented so I can't go back and kick my own ass for the shitty things I said because I didn't realize how fucking easy I had it in a few areas. But the key thing…

I usually like your comedy, Patton, but Irritating Cousin Who Barely Understands Satire's Facebook Screed isn't a good look on anyone.

I think the doomed girl at the very, very beginning of the movie had a cell phone, but other than that they were shockingly absent. There were even porno mags instead of online porn! I was ravaged by puberty once the internet had already taken over, so seeing that was like spotting Sasquatch.

I was super relieved that the second act wasn't one big explain-a-thon like you get in most horror movies. Having the characters track down the one "paranormal studies" professor in the country who knows exactly what's going on and then dumps buckets and buckets of lukewarm exposition all over everything is an almost…