Whoa! What did the chicken do to deserve that? And which chicken? How 'bout we sub "yourself in the ear hole" for "that chicken"? Might not be any more funny, but it should keep PETA off your ass.

You just made me realize that my playing 2nd string free safety on my ju-co team is going to affect my own daughter's bid for the presidency some 36 years down the road. I'm overcome with self-recrimination.