In America, the dollar is valuable and the ruble is worthless. In Putin's Russia, the dollar is valuable and the ruble is worthless.

I'll let you be in my dream if I can be in your dream.

Their incestuous relationship with cable providers?

Abraham Lincoln said that.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.

I'd sprain my tongue.

I find your comments very educational. Every time I see one, I go into another room and read a good book.

In Soviet America, Google searches you!

I prefer these spiders: https://www.youtube.com/wat…

The AVClub

Well, to be honest, it was like the fifth Bill Cosby article. Personally, I am at the end of my rope for articles whose only purpose is cause indignation and create torch wielding mobs.

In Putin's Russian, farmer has sex with ewe!

The key is elaborate disguises.

Have you considered taking a date?

Grammar: the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.

I can't really blame them for not wanting to ruin one of the biggest movie watching days of the year because everyone is trained to be stupid and afraid.

I keep telling them to pull the Richard Pryor scam from Superman III, but they refuse to listen.

Lots of anonymous sex in hotels.

Can I still buy one ticket and then spend the day watching all of the movies?