I'm not much of a buy-shit on tv guy (and I even had to look up what channels HSN was on DISH to even complete this thought), but if I were the type of person to buy the Wolfgang Puck Signature Perfect Portable Rice Cooker for 19.95 (who the fuck is buying this that they actually need the flex pay option?!) I might…

Wait? You mean people don't automatically scan for defensible positions and potential threats? I've spent too much time in rural America.

I never threaten anyone with a gun (loaded or unloaded). More of the example you described… or seeing what it feels like in my rectum, i mean mouth, i mean opposite hand.

I've always grouped Whitman with Oswald. The only difference was that Oswald had a specific target in mind.

Yeah, i'm terrified of ending up in NRA propaganda and having my views distorted by the political equivalent of the Church of Scientology.

This raises an interesting question: what is the acceptable capacity for a magazine to have?

I definitely understand the point you are trying to make, but it is kind of a weak anecdote because even when shooting slowly and methodically it also sounds like that was just too much gun for you. It probably would have been for me as well, but if you tried that same procedure with a more manageable handgun you…

Yeah, I bought a Taurus pistol this year and it came with a free year membership to the NRA (a 35 dollar value!). While I didn't take the membership, I now need to find an appropriate competing organization to give 35 bucks to so I balance things out.

I absolutely support the approach that the gun is always loaded (although I always phrase it, the gun is always loaded until you personally have unloaded it), but i've also been known to make sure the gun is clear and then dick around with it. But, if i were to put it down for even a second the first thing I do i…

Well, I know what I am masturbating to tonight.

Hasn't Josh Homme been through enough?

It isn't a great sign that I couldn't even make it through the trailer for this one.

22.5 pounds for 8 people.

After playing through it a couple of times I move that they rename the game "Emily is a Bitch". Not my fault we hooked up twice in the days before affirmative consent.

and you often bring your C game.

Although looking at your roster i'm drooling to play you.

The obvious answer would be to develop a real world version of Sabacc complete with shifting cards. In the current era of tablet technology it should be feasible assuming that there is an agreed upon set of rules.

Knowing that you are rooting for me I'm tempted to bench my entire team. If I manipulate things properly I can choose my playoff opponents and maybe elevate a team that is pretty beat up… decisions, decisions, decisions.

I'd actually approve that change. Also, his hatred of Sand People was a precursor for the current Islamaphobia.

I would try to set records for how quickly i could tank my relationship.