I don't want to live in an America where Snake Plissken can't be Star Lord's dad.

"Ghostbusters: The Board Game asks us once again to trust this fearsome foursome, and only them, to get the job done." Well, I guess they're gonna have to take control…

Automatic script-writing software you say? Sounds A.W.E.S.O.M.-O

Yes.

I seriously lol'd.

Goddamnit if that ballad by Lightfoot doesn't make me stare misty-eyed off towards the sea. Every. Time.

The only thing worse than watching 3 straight days of Shia LaBeouf movies would be having to sit with the Thespian Himself while it happened. That's some Clockwork Orange shit right there.

See these incredible School Shooter wardrobe FAILS!

"No-Maj" sounds like a hygiene product for your nether region. Like some kind of product sold via infomercial.

In McDonald's defense, people really are the fucking worst.

Can't we just punch both? Must this be a zero sum game?

And a helicopter in the opening credits. I don't care what your show is about, if there's no chopper in the opening sequence, you're gonna have a uphill battle winning MY respect.

Appearently, you never saw "Airwolf" then.

My guess is that Uncle Blastoff might offer an opinion or two, were you to wish him "Happy Holidays" as a reply.

"Dancing with the Help"?

Mexico and China dance better than us. Everyone does. They also use more butter. When I'm president, we are going to make this country great and buttery once more.

Would anyone more versed in the Bible than myself be able to confirm as to whether or not this was mentioned in the Book of Revelation?

New rule about fake news sites leaves Onion readers AMAZED.

"No amount of drugs would make me want to Google that." - Well, not again, anyway.

I haven't seen a movie that depressing since Requiem for a Dream.