Yay! Thanks for another sloppy Two Minutes of Hate, AVClub!

*Stands up awkwardly*
*Pulls folded up paper out of pocket*
Ahem,
Thank you for meeting us all here today. First off, I want to tell you that everybody here loves you, and wants the best for you. But when we watch you continually destroy yourself this way, it breaks all of… *sobs* a-all of our h-hearts…
We don't know…

But… don't you remember Wussypillow?
Don't you remember I was spending my evenings down at the drive-in? That's when I met you!
Standin' on your mama's porch, you told me that you'd wait forever…

I played it too. Played it at the local 5 and Dime. Man…
Those were the best days of my life.

I'm cool every day. AC is wonderful.

True story: This was the last movie that I would ever pass by in a Blockbuster and say, "… nah."