Santorum (the word) must be passed down from the ancient Roman (or perhaps Greek). Think Forum, Auditorium, Vomitorium, Santorum. It may have been the high-society word for outhouse. "Pardon me, Augustus, I needs visit the santorum." That could also explain how the word has evolved to mean "The frothy mix…"

AFRAID doesn't seem concerned about Dad so much, just Mom. So perhaps she should come out to Dad via a phone call or letter, and then Dad ends up with the job of telling Mom.