Oh, so we can look forward to more wooden characters, interesting characters dying too early and monsters fighting on background TV's while wooden characters have boring familial disputes in the foreground? Wonderful.

The only thing I remember from this is that about a third of the way in, Adam Sandler's character makes this oozy meat/egg panini thing that might have been the most delicious looking sandwich I've ever seen in a movie.

Pretty much. I'll give it a shot at the Redbox since I love them both and I think they're both capable of dramatic work, but it definitely seems like one of those "we're comedic actors testing the waters" dramedies that no one remembers five years from now.

I either totally love (Kicking and Screaming, Squid and the Whale, Greenberg) or totally hate (Frances Ha, Margot at the Wedding) Baumbach's work, so I don't really know if I'm looking forward to While We're Young or not.

I'm very much looking forward to Selma. I loved Ava DuVernay's first two movies and I'm hoping she can breathe some life into the biopic-y formula (and that cast is stacked).

A movie focusing on the life of a totally tertiary slasher movie character might be cool.

I had an idea a while back for a college-campus set black and white screwball comedy with Will Ferrell as a failed English professor, Channing Tatum as a wildly successful English professor, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Channing's pot-smoking hippie husband and Mel Brooks as the retiring professor who sets some sort of…

I'm a big Gaga fan and there's definitely a few to choose from in her catalog. My pick is Hair, a self-empowerment anthem whose lyrics make Born This Way look like brilliant lyricism, and yet it totally appeals to my inner 16-year-old gay.

Also missing Amy Adams' bank ad, which I thought was coming after Colbert's.

Lee Daniels mentioned in some interview that his primary inspirations are John Waters and Pedro Almodovar, and I wish he'd keep going in that direction, because his Oscar bait-y movies are either totally boring with a few unintentionally hilarious moments (The Butler) or unintentionally hilarious with some squirmy…

Any Gin Blossoms song, along with Sugar Ray's Fly, How Bizarre, Head Over Feet, The Cranberries' Dreams, and (weirdly) Tracy Chapman's Turn Right Back Around bring me to childhood summers at the pool. I expect to hear the 101.9 FM (THE MIX!) bumpers after hearing any one of them.

I love the guy, but his social media feeds are mostly slightly more literate dad jokes.

Seriously. Dude is the M. Night Shyamalan of 90's indie filmmakers.

I don't know what it says about her (or me) that this, the only single of hers I've enjoyed since You Belong With Me, sounds like an Avril Lavigne B-side.

Labor Day's watchably mediocre enough, but it's too melodramatic to work as the serious drama it's pitched as, and not trashy/hilarious enough to work as unintentional comedy. It's weird because I think of Reitman as a director who has a pretty firm command of tone, but that one got away from him.

In this vein, I felt bad for some of the SeaWorld employees in Blackfish. Some of them obviously knew better, but there were a few during the whole "LISTEN TO THE LIES THEY MAKE THESE PEOPLE SAY!" segment where I was thinking, "You know, if I'm working for a shitty wage at an aquarium and I have to choose between…

This could have gotten an F and I'd still watch it because DINOSAURS. That 8-year-old boy inside me has yet to die.

Yup. Although that one wasn't as bad, since
a) Trayvon/the title change happened months before the movie came out, and
b) the final product lacked any sort of real-world parallels, unlike a movie about how goofy it is to be a cop when there's fucking tanks on the street in STL.

All I can think as the reviews for this come in is "Geez, talk about unfortunate timing."

This movie is profoundly shitty and not even dumb fun, but almost worth seeing for two reasons: