Which is why it's probably more likely college students just don't want to listen to jokes about like, beepers or whatever trendy topic Jerry's opining on these days. Got nothing against you Seinfeld, but you're not exactly a comedy name bandied around by 20 somethings.

MILLENNIALS AM I RIGHT???? SOMEONE GET OBAMA TO ANSWER FOR THIS

Breaking news: old man yells at cloud.

Meanwhile everyone shrugs and keeps downloading music off of the internet for free with nothing to stop them but pleading moral arguments. Yes, I'm stealing a car. Tough cookies.

What's "the Left"? I'm glad there's this guy named The King of the Left whose lack of Apple criticism has allowed you to make these statements. I know plenty of leftists who don't leave Apple out. Save your tired cliches on Millennials and the Occupy crowd, they're the equivalent of people railing on "hipsters". Does…

*keeps pirating music like always* faaaaaaaaaaascinating.

NOT MY SUPERMAN!!!!!

The thing for me though, is I was laughing constantly but somehow that didn't harm the film's horror at all for me. I mean, I was clowning AND horrified, and it worked completely and somehow didn't hurt either aspect for me. Up to this point none of the films with the label "horror comedy" ever did anything like that…

it's…it's…beautiful.

If that substance is horse turds, then yes.

Shailene Woodley

YEAH YEAH ALSO JUSTIN BEIEBER!!!! LOLOOLO!!!

What I love about this is that all these rah-rah hick fake-patriots are too pussy to go after Jesse Ventura though, hahah. Michael Moore is such a…soft…target.

How'd you know my mom is Neil DeGrasse Tyson? Operation JUNIOR was never supposed to be made public.

Always been a poor poor substitute for Carl Sagan. Never been a huge fan, he seems to love the attention a bit much. More the realm of internet memes and okay Colbert eps. Come back Carl.

lol at calling Nightcrawler overrated but having Gone Girl in your top five.

racists

I'M IN LOVE WITH THE CO CO

It'll be fine by me if it'll at least result in people calming down on all the Boyhood fellation (wait, wait, that didn't come out right)

This AVClub article has triggered me and I demand an immediate apology or I will unleash a hashtag and tumblr crusade that will make your buzzfeed bleed.