Darn, how will I come back from this one?

If you want to show off its size, at least put it next to a ruler.

This would be more effective - well, less ineffective - if I knew this Gonzo person and didn't have to mentally convert from imperial to metric. Also if dick putdowns weren't the bread and butter (a white and sticky sort of butter) of the internet.

And I would quibble that it's not. There.

caterwauling

I know this one! This is the one where you "win" because the other person has given up on you and won't reply to you anymore.

Oh, I'm sorry, do I… know more about this issue than you?

The Viet Cong? The movement that ceased to exist with Vietnamese unification in 1976 are the ones who ousted the Khmer Rouge in 19771978-79?

Sorry to break it to you, but the Khmer Rouge were communists.

Yeah, there are waaaaay too many Hollywood films about the Khmer Rouge.

And generous of me to assume he has half his wits. Would dimwit work better?

"State of," as in state of shock, state of intoxication, state of harmony, state of mind, state of the art, or state of affairs. Don't make it 2 terms you refuse to acknowledge the meaning of.

You've just made Auschwitz into a prison.

You think that's what concerns Trump? A prison is a place you're sent to after being convicted of a crime. Trump thinks they're criminals.

I'm not prejudiced, I get that not everyone at the golf club is lighting a cigar with $100 bills while using a couple black caddies as a human chair and complaining that the place has gone downhill when they allowed those lazy blacks to join. I still have a visceral contempt for golf as an unmistakable signifier of…

The Tsarnaevs entered the United States by way of… wait for it… Russia.

Trump having a poor grasp of the only language he speaks is only the worst thing about that conversation on a surface level. The worst thing is that Turnbull keeps trying to explain to him what's going on with these refugees and Trump can't wrap his empty head around what is hardly a complex summary of the situation.…

My younger brother once got an under-14 discount at a movie theater while sporting some heavy-duty stub, but only because I cut in before he could tell off the woman at the ticket booth.

Looked like body bags to me.

This isn't a one-and-done thing. The next Bond actor is likely going to play the character for at least a decade. Moore was 44 when he was cast and, in my opinion, too old for a first-time Bond - he was pushing 60 when his last Bond film came out. Craig was 37 when cast, a much better age, especially since he was…