Nope. I know the smartest thing I ever did was to NOT have kids with my ex. (That was one reason it ended. She wanted kids ASAP, I wanted to wait until I was 30. My second wife took the pregnancy test on my 30th birthday, so at least I can say I stuck to my schedule.)

It's an homage to Cesar Romero.

We don't know, Jerry Lewis won't release the movie.

YOU BROKE MY FATHER, PREPARE TO DIE!

Absolutely. Kind of like Homer Simpson's "annoyed grunt" stage directions, ellipses in a Stallone script serve much the same purpose: They indicate "Insert unintelligible noise here."

When I look back at my first marriage, I know the reason it went off the rails was because we both thought we'd found what we were looking for. However, we were 19 and 20 when we met and we thought we knew everything. There were so many qualities I didn't know I wanted from a wife and she from a husband until we…

My wife disagrees.

No, they're pretty much the same except we see each other more frequently during the workday since we all work in the same tree-based cookie factory.

I can count the number of women I've dated with one hand and have a finger left over. Plus I'm still friends with the two I dated who I didn't marry. So either I'm really lucky or just not very picky…

I wasn't widowed, just divorced, so the situations were certainly different. Once I felt I was ready to start dating again I ended up marrying the first woman I met. Having gone through the divorce and realizing what went right and what didn't, I knew precisely what I was looking for, and that first girl I met fit…

I think it serves a purpose, in that had someone presented an edited video of Obama doing something like this nobody would believe it. Trump has proven himself to be so petty and crass, that there is virtually nothing we can't envision him doing to embarrass us as a nation any more.

Considering it's Blue Man Group, the murder weapon would be a PVC pipe.

Oh great, now all of Blue Man Group's music is going to be in French.

Bud, we're attacking you because there is absolutely no rational defense for anything Trump has done since announcing his candidacy. He has utterly embarrassed America on the world stage. He has proven to be completely corrupt and hypocritical. He has no class and has for the first time made many of us ashamed to be…

He's the Brigadoon of commenters. In five years he'll be back with some nonsense about how President Elizabeth Warren doesn't deserve credit for having won the Nobel Prizes for both Peace and Economics.

Oh, it should be no problem to get tickets to Comic-Con and a hotel room at this early date.

No, the article is entirely factual. You've just come to believe in the "fake news" bit so much you can no longer discern reality from fantasy.

Shaudendrumpen?

Nothing heaver than a stripper, or in some cases, a fireman. A true heavy-duty pole can support a stripping fireman.

I won't say respect, but I certainly acknowledge that it works all too well.