Well, there is a difference between laughing at something and trying to legislate it out of existence. And for all the cracks against various groups and stereotypes, the biggest idiot of them all on the show is still the straight Cristian white guy.

I'm pretty sure any time a player is removed from a game due to injury the team has to file a report with the league. They'd clamp down pretty quickly if the number of injuries to relief pitchers suddenly started to rise. Plus it could be something like a leg cramp that's fine the next day. Making them ineligible to…

Nice recall. I remembered the circumstances, just not the actual teams and players.

How about forcing an incoming pitcher to have to pitch to at least two batters before he can be taken out? Exceptions would be if the pitcher is hurt or the batting team sends in a pinch-hitter. When teams carry eight relievers a half inning can drag out to over 30 minutes when the manager changes pitchers for each…

Over Charlie Finley's dead body! Oh, wait…

It happened just last night in a college game. Two consecutive wild pitches on an intentional walk in the ninth inning to let a run score and win the game.

That would be fun, but I think the signal has to come from the dugout, not the pitcher.

…of gold.

Well, her mouth was usually occupied.

Well, convenience anyway…

Well, to be fair, the scheming supervillains aren't that clever either since they practically always lose, and any wins are short-lived. Hell, even if they kill their enemies, they'll just return from the dead anyway.

And wherever the Balloon Lady goes, someone mysteriously dies…

Bravo.

If Woody Allen had made When Harry Met Sally, Sally would have fallen for Harry within two minutes of meeting him and the whole film would have been about Harry's neuroses about having a shiksa fall for him.

"And with really big hands! Not those tiny little hands you always see dinosaurs have. Our dinosaurs will have the biggest hands you've ever seen on a dinosaur, believe me!"

Yeah, but enough about Trump… oh, wait, you said self-aware. That disqualifies Trump.

"Thank you, Dr. Baljeet!"
"Ninja."
"What?"
"It's Dr. Ninja Baljeet. I didn't go to ninja school for six years just to be called Dr. Baljeet."

Actually, it's not the physical attractiveness in Dunham's case that turns me off, and I should have addressed that. It's the whole package that I find off-putting: It's as if she intentionally goes out of her way to be unlikable then expects people to be proud of her for it.

I wonder if Dunham has ever seen an erect penis in person. Or if she has, how many seconds did it remain that way until it shriveled again?

As if I didn't already loathe our generation enough…