True, but now he's got lawyers popping up all over the place saying they'll defend any of the women Trump is threatening to sue for free.

Affirmative action.

But Trump rarely ever actually sues anyone. He threatens to, hoping the target of his suit doesn't realize that whatever Trump sues for is likely to be laughed out of court by the judge. He's threatened to sue all of the women who've claimed he sexually assaulted them, but I promise not a single actual lawsuit will be…

OK, that'll get rid of lawyer shows. But what can we do to get rid of lawyers, except elect Trump, that is.

I was thinking Jack McBrayer, who I'm pretty sure is at least half-cartoon character to begin with. He's the 21st century Don Knotts.

"Hey Skeeter, why do you think it is that Tyrone never takes off his hood and robe?"

I have to wait a thousand years to find out how it ends?

The real twist would be that the guy manages to be fun-loving, no-filter and low rent yet still respects women and fits in at the firm with no conflict because he's adequate at his job and his lack of filter never gets him in trouble because he doesn't have anything negative to say in the first place. He just blurts…

The contestant screeners for Black Jeopardy automatically exclude applicants with college degrees plus any sort of demonstrable intelligence and/or the fearlessness to come across as a moron on national television. It's the same thing that the screeners for Wheel of Fortune and the Price is Right do for contestants of…

That's what Burt Reynolds missed the most about her.

Not to be confused with the PHineas and Ferb song of the same name…

Well, "You Make Me" was supposed to be Al's homage to Oingo Boingo, but that one never quite felt like Boingo to me.

And just what does the "S" stand for? Scott. That was great-granddad Pumpkins' name. The Pumpkins are a traditional bunch.

He may be part of the best "Hey, it's that guy!" multi-generational pair. His son is the clear heir to that throne.

Instead of going on and on about how great this show was and how much I loved it, I'll just say this: I named my son Edison.

Sorry, my mistake, it was WMDs he was looking for in that video, not Bin Laden. Still, a horrific admission of failure.

Well, he clearly didn't prepare for any of the debates and he thinks he won them all, so in his mind preparation is for losers…

I was really hoping when Bill Clinton spoke at the Democratic convention that he'd start talking about growing up as a young girl in Slovenia.

Are there any Cardinals who are worth listening to? (Professional athletes excepted.)

What, you didn't think that George W. Bush looking for Bin Laden all over the White House was hilarious? It was the comedy version of just looking into the camera and saying "I fucking suck at my job."