Shoplifting began here in ancient Phoenicia. Thieves would literally lift the corner of a shop in order to snatch the sweet, sweet olives within. Oh, Sheheqazaramesh, will you ever learn? Flash forward to ancient Babylonia -

If I wanted smoke blown up my ass, I'd be at home with a pack of cigarettes and a short length of hose.

The instant you read these Futurama reviews, your DNA will be forever altered, turning you into horrible mutants like us! Especially @idiotking.

The A.V. Club
Look, I'm sure we're all a little unclear on how anyone gets pregnant.

SS definitely had some good bass moments ("Unsheathed" is another one), but that album's obsession with dark atmosphere puts him in the background too often.

For a band not all that well regarded these days, Throwing Copper is a shockingly good album, filled to the brim with deep cuts like "Top," "Pillar of Davidson," "Iris," and the hidden track "Horse."

You've got a lot of nerve showing your face around here, @Whovian

Up and ATOM!

Remember the great article theorizing that Fight Club is a sequel to Calvin and Hobbes, with "Jack" as grown-up Calvin and "Tyler Durden" as the new Hobbes? That was pretty great.

Favorite Calvin's Dad moment: Mom is sick and Calvin expresses skepticism that his Dad can successfully make dinner:

Dear God, people, proofread and fact-check your shit. I know people use the "hope someone got fired for that blunder" line all the time, but really, this is getting ridiculous. A.V. Club? More like Amateur Club.

VINCE IS DOING THE WORLD CUP!!!!

Go away, internet.

Oh, that headline was meant to be taken literally. I thought it was the anniversary of Everyday or something like that.

"Don't Pass Me By" - now that's a skippable song

I remember reading that the studio was going to make a Jurassic Park sequel with or without Crichton and that Crichton only started writing the book after the movie was already in production (which is why the book and movie have almost nothing in common). Crichton's The Lost World isn't exactly good, but it is a lot…

If anyone needs me, I'll be in the Angry Dome fuming about this change in episode order!

A.V. Club Taste Test

Fired, blunder, you know.

Another Futurama review, right. I'd better warn - tell - warntell the others!