They're gorgeous! And she's frickin 19! What the HELL??

She's got a better chance than Matthew Crawley (case in point: I genuinely can't remember the name of the actor who plays Matthew Crawley).

Got it. I think.

So I've never seen Lost (and never will), but can someone explain to me why Dominic Monaghan couldn't just run to the other side of the door before closing it?

Melancholy? What are you talking about? They had a Christmas special that revolved around the Fall of Saigon!

I mean, Dr. Oz has a whole media persona dedicated to promoting ludicrous medical claims that are probably doing more harm than good, and yet he doesn't get a fraction of the shit Gwyneth Paltrow gets for suggesting you eat more quinoa.

I loved Helga/Arnold - but tbh the only really believable scenario for them getting together is Helga immediately losing interest once she has nothing left to chase.

It's been a full decade since I was in the Harry Potter fandom, but just reading the words "Harry and Hermione had a far more interesting thing going on than Hermione and Ron ever did" made my brain shriek "BURN IN HELL"

I know I'm in the minority, but I really liked Dan in Real Life. I never really understood why it got so much shit. (Note: I'm slightly less embarrassed to admit this after seeing someone else comment on their love for Benny & Joon)

No Groundhog Day?

"Peeta had really wanted children, but that was just too fucking bad." Oh my god

JACK sits at his writing desk. He adjusts his glasses and runs a hand over his 5 o'clock shadow. He takes a sip of coffee (black, no sugar). Out his dorm window, a parade of JANES passes by.

Honestly, none of that is anywhere near as lame as being accidentally killed by a blind Han Solo bumping into his jet pack, causing him to zoom across the sky and smack into a wall like Wile E Coyote.

What about that Christmas album he did a few years ago?

It sounds like a stage name that Tina Belcher would come up with.

Come get your dinner, you fat lard. Eat the FOOD!!

Gah I've been meaning to catch up on Doctor Who for years now (the last episode I watched was that ridiculous anniversary special). Should I bother?

Honestly I've never even heard of this movie.. I'm just amazed by the name Archibald Cunningham. I hope the next inventory is 10 most ridiculously on-the-nose snobby English aristocrat names.

I still haven't seen that. I read the book and was underwhelmed.. Is the movie better?

I thought it was dumb as hell. I do not understand why it's considered a masterpiece.