*throws Kirk Cameron Left Me Behind out of the Zeppelin*

Oddly enough, they're not including that in the movie at all.
I wonder why…

Way too obtuse. Never use it again.

To my memory, The Gunslinger is a pretty short movie, but long by Rodger Corman standards, of course. Better directing and story, too.
However, it ends rather abruptly when John Ireland and Allison Hayes kill every single person in town and Beverly Garland has to shoot them both.

MAGAloos?

And now for something completely different: a clown with two buttocks.

IT IS BALLOON!

You're joking. But it'll be ~3 hours with previews and trailers.
Another entire day spent at the theater.

Funny, I would've expected that when comparing the two, Idris Elba's Dark Tower would be the longer one.

Hello, Trumpy! It's your old roomie, Mooch!

Where do Angelina Jolie's tits fit into this analogy?

You know what DOES make his Monday even more ridiculous?
The fact that on top of his humiliating failure and job loss, he was physically escorted off of White House property.

Harvard To Scaramucci: Drop Dead

So what you're saying is that the studio rejected Jóhann Jóhannsson's score and instead want the repetitive, mundane, blockbuster-y noodling of Hans Zimmer?
And that in 20 years we're going to get a Criterion release with the original score intact?

The Post would make a thinly veiled jab at Kesha.

Gaga Goes Gugu, Comes To Comfort Kesha, Legal Spox Nix Luke's Trix
—New Variety Headline

What's even better: He was escorted off White House grounds. He didn't just leave, he was escorted out.

This will give him plenty of time to learn how to suck his own cock.

Unrelated, and I'm sure it'll get its own article soon:
Scaramucci is already out as White House Communications Director.

They have good balance?