Show of hands: Who here downloaded Pokemon Go, played it a maximum of thrice, got bored, and deleted it in less than a week?

I'm a completely original creation. Like Rikachu or Malien Mesus.

I'm legitimately surprised that Tom Welling hasn't appeared in any of those terrible Christian movies that hit theaters 2 or 3 times a year.

That Lucifer is like Satan…FROM HELL!
—Mike Nelson, 521-Santa Claus

SOMEBODY SAAAAAAAAAAAVE MYYYYY CAREER!
—Tom Welling

Hello? I need the biggest seed bell you have.
No, that's too big.

*jerk off hand motion*

Yeah, I know what you mean!

I was going for more of a Bill Nye/Neil deGrasse Tyson dad joke.

Police say the high number of severe intoxications was higher than what should reasonably be assumed, based on the average of past events.

That's how Trump's advisors talk to him about everything.

Pictured: Michael Emerson as the next Doctor.

You showed up to the interview drunk and threw up all down the front of the suit, didn't you?

*shrug*

Update from the MST3K panel at Comic-Con:

You bet your sweet…ass!

In that he constantly has the look of something that was just dug up?

-Copious typos? Sure!
-Speculation and rumor-mongering? Why not!
-Repurposing a press release as an article without changing anything? Go ahead!

I thought it was the NBC one. The one with the stupid name. Seeso.

Shouldn't this show have ended a year or two ago, back when they ran out the important stuff, like ideas and jokes?