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Crow's New Hair
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I don't know.
After her contract to contribute to The AV Club expired, all the breaking news that kept happening/involving/about her mysteriously stopped happening.

BLURST!

Those loose, dyed strands of hair on the left side of her head are bothering my autistic sensibilities.

Oh! Oh! Oh!
You know who they need to call to take care of them? Huh? Do you know? Huh? Do you know?
Catfish Hunter, that's who!
Ha ha ha!
—Tom Servo, 1005-Blood Waters of Dr. Z

The Middle East? Isn't that whole area a little "iffy"?

A talking cat!?!

Is Hugh Jackman Middle Eastern?

It takes place BEFORE Islam existed. We need to stress that in the marketing phase.
-the gist of another probable internal Disney memo

We want someone Middle Eastern, obviously. But not TOO Middle Eastern. This needs to play in the Midwest, after all!
-probably the gist of an internal Disney memo

How about that fat Middle Eastern rapper everyone loves for some reason? Or will he be the genie?

Benedict Cumberbatch, again.

Just get Benedict Cumberbatch.

With sexy results!

WHOM fears death!

David Brooks looks like what would happen if Simon the Chipmunk grew up to be a balding alcoholic.

Oh, you're an ugly little dummy, aren't you [David]?
An ugly, smelly, horrible, little dummy, who will never have ham, certainly not unless he gets it himself. A dummy who will never drink wine. Yes a horrible, smelly, ugly, stupid, ridiculous dummy!

Agreed. But it's completely appropriate.

INVALIDATED

So let's dance!

Funny, I would've called it "Uncle Bill's Family Feedbag".