What a rude awakening, this article was not what I thought to was going to be about.

Bobby Roode is glorious.

You can kill others for using drugs if you want, don't drag me into your madness.

Then we can go back to pretending pharmaceuticals like Prozac are the happy, perfect solution to everything wrong with the world.

Either way, well done. You have given us all something to strive and shoot for.

Are you suggesting that they don't already sell beer in a way that is anything other than a way of escaping your shitty life for a short while?

Master P's Trees: Gets You So High It Will Make Em Say Uhh!

How this hasn't been sold by hipsters in Brooklyn as "artisan wine" for a ridiculous price yet shocks me.

"Leave Kanye alone!"
No one yet

Compared to ones Britney and Amanda Bynes had, this is barely newsworthy.

As opposed to the ones he hears regularly?

Not unless the gift is the wrapping paper.

Giuliani will lead the strike team at the bust of the sweatshop this merchandise is being made at in hopes to finally tie his arch nemesis Beyoncé to the Black Lives Movement.

Arnold Palmer's estate will like a word with you.

Time to find me a second-hand store…

Why are the raspberry berets always out of stock?

"Sometimes I pretend the nanny is Jennifer!"
Ben Affleck

Meh - at this point, it's just one more thing that's getting a reboot.

On the dinner table, next to the cranberry sauce and StoveTop stuffing.

I wish she had, tortillas with Swedish meatballs beat the hell out of jelly beans, toast, and popcorn for impromptu Thanksgiving meals.