Bound 2 a Wheelchair

Moving from DC to Boston recently sucks because they were both listed in the top five worst cities to drive in. At least in DC drivers tell me to go fuck myself in an intelligible fashion.

I'll consider this a success if it turns put John Boehner's tears are the secret weapon to disintegrate the sharks.

I will just say in my subdued, "Ben Affleck in Argo" accent, that Senatah, I'm sorry, Senator Kennedy was a dear friend and colleague of mine, and he would always let me come up to Hyannis Port to play frisbee with whatever siblings he still had left at the time. One night we went drinking, and I, being too drunk to…

AY YA DISRESPECT THAH VETAUANS THAT DIED AT PEAHL HABOAH YOU DISRESPECT EVEUY AMEUACAN WHO LAHST THEYA LIUVES TAH TEUUISTS, THAHT MEAUNS YA LAHVE THAHT PSYCHO WHO BLEW UP THAT MAIUATHON! BAHSTON FAHKIN STRAHNG YA FAHKIN QUEAUH

EH YOU DON'T KNOW WAT YA TALKIN BOUT YOU FUCKIN QUEAH POSAH! I BET YA LIKE JAHNNY DAEUMON WITHAT THA BEAUD!

He was gonna appear at the end in heaven, greeting them as God, then he says he was just messing with them, and that he's really just Morgan Freeman. So yeah, Morgan Freeman was gonna die in This is the End.

They made you sit through Year One and like five hours of 1900.

I heard FXX will be marathoning them along with Leonard Parts 1-5.

Between this and the story about Eisenberg and LaBeouf playing pothead arms dealers, the universe is really serving up good headline fodder today.

I got a Hoyt Axton notification for this?!

Solicitation of hookers?

Let's remember the Tarantino Rule: Just because someone makes a comment that's right on the money about something's shittiness, that does not mean that the commenter isn't kind of shitty themselves.

and now we wait for the backlash over the "implied racism" of the name.

"My Life, AKA How I Took Over the Entire World and Am Infallible" by Justin Bieber (and some hopefully well paid ghostwriter)

I actually find it easier to look at more recent pictures of bloated, corn-rowed Axl than pictures of Guns n Roses in the 80s, because my God, people actually did that to themselves as a normal thing then.

I'm so glad I found another person who likes George of the Jungle. It's one of my favorite movies to quote.

I haven't read is newest column yet, but after reading what he put on his website, I do not accept his apology at all. At no point did he explain, or even seem to understand, what he did wrong. All he did was acknowledge that he pissed some people off and apologize without elaboration or reasoning. The only thing he…

My personal favorite is "So this is Hell, huh…. And there's a crucifix here!"

She's 104, right?