I don't think that character has been on SNL in more than two decades….

Well now I know what to put on my resume…

Truly.

A career for help.

"FOZZY"

What a stupid piece of shit.

I'm calling it: This movie looks bad. Bad movie. There.

This is why I drink.

You're in a theater and you're texting
You're out on a first date and you're texting
Your friend needs you and you're texting
Since you seem immune to shame, I agree with the sentiments of Mr.Gunn

There comes a time in your life when you need to spit out the focaccia. This is that time. She will get through this. We need to be there to support her.

I have had "Friends of P." by The Rentals stuck in my head for the last 22 years. Just that little "Ooh-Woo-Hoo-Hoo" part and it plays and plays and it plays and plays and it plays and plays and it plays and plays…

What I'm going to say is going to sound really insane, but I'd like for you all to just take a minute and hear what it is:

Full. Method.

Honestly, who would really want to learn their lines for "Pirates Of The Caribbean: More Booty For Disney" anyways?

That'll do, pig. That'll do.

I am as god made me.

So…you had me until the climate change denier. Seriously. Isn’t that like having someone who believes in the number 2 and someone who thinks addition is a lie made by witches?

Everyday I tell myself will be the day that the vomit stops. The day that the heaving, the acid, the vile and bile will finally have left my soul from the poison of this world. And everyday I am wrong.

So how's that trial going, buckaroo?

Man, Marvel is running out of walls to drive it's company head long into.