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Laura
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I agree they're both issues, but I think the problem with how we react to sexual violence and how we react to gore and graphic violence are different. With gore and graphic violence, we are - as you say - desensitized. People's pain in response to more and more gruesome horrors may seem less real. Someone who is going

It disturbs me that you don't see why a character killing the man who killed her friend is more morally complicated than a character raping the woman he loves.

Characters who kill for pleasure and bloodlust and sadism are generally condemned by the text. Characters that we're supposed to like do kill, but they don't kill innocents, and they generally don't kill needlessly or take pleasure in it. We're not expected to like or forgive Roose Bolton or Walder Frey or Gregor