I get my internet through a small local ISP and don't own a television, which means no streaming HBO for me, but somehow I still manage to stay up to date on the shows I like. It must be my ability to tap into the collective consciousness.

Pitch for a new series: Dale wakes up one morning to discover that one container of Indian takeout is missing from his fridge. The korma is right there and the lamb rogan too. There's naan and still one samosa, but where's the bhindi masala? It was barely even touched. It's just missing and nobody else in the house…

What if like one out of every hundred people woke up with a blue horn on their forehead? Wouldn't that be weird? Wouldn't everyone just like freak out and question everything? Or like what if someone captured one of the gnomes that tangle all your electrical device wires in the middle of the night on camera? You might…

"The cleanest toilet at a music festival is obviously backstage." Having performed at a number of music festivals across North America and Europe, I can attest that backstage bathrooms often rival the horror of the audience bathrooms. The difference is (aside from them often having actual plumbing, proper hand towels…

Moffat has no heart

I would also like to deliver a hearty "Fuck You" to Steven Moffat. I'll start watching Doctor Who again when they get a new show runner. Also, the last season of Sherlock was absolutely horrible.

True Detective wins by sheer virtue of not being a fucking remake.

No way. I still own an MXR distortion. They are such a great simple texture pedal. I always thought they sounded better on bass guitar though.

Toni Iommi's tone on the first 5 Sabbath albums is the corner stone for several shades of metal, doom and hardcore. It's visceral, evokative and accomplished, but never in a way that eclipses the rest of the composition. Randy Rhodes sound was so thin and deeply unsatisfying, like licking burnt sugar off tin foil.

Always thought the intro of Crazy Train promises a great song that doesn't exist. As soon as the verse riff starts, it might as well be a fucking Duran Duran song.

I don't enjoy anything Frank Zappa has ever done, but I still greatly respect his influence and voice. Same with the band Sparks - except in their case, I can't stand the singers delivery or persona, but like the keyboardist. One of you mentioned Hannibal - I enjoyed the first season, but absolutely do not understand…

Unfortunately I am the cooler sibling. I am also the younger sibling, which means I had to fight extra hard to discover cool things outside my family's bubble of bad taste.

I'd immediately break up with anybody that had any one of these records in their collection.