To be fair, vasectomies are only "almost 100% effective" which is why your doctor will perform a fertility test about a month after the procedure (ensuring that the procedure WAS 100% effective).

Finish with a tolerant and loving curb stomp.

Why would you ADMIT to that haircut?

Shaving Cream Pies to the face are always appropriate.

"tried to kill them"? More like chased one guy for a short bit and then wandered off.

And it's Pesto!

All Mexicans are Hispanic/Latino? That's like saying all citizens of the USA are WASPS. Mexican is a nationality, there are Asian Mexicans.

I feel your pain.

The only parts they want small are the parts which provide services to the public. They're fine with a huge government if it's military, police and spooks.

He changed his name?

I betting broadcast bands eventually get gobbled up by the need for bandwidth for new wireless bandwidth. The IOT will require a LOT of new bandwidth.

pretty sure they have at least two employees

Ours have more influence in general (your mileage may vary depending on locality). If you make a list of terrifying asshats, white males are pretty much the biggest jerks on the planet. Some locally influential douche canoes like ISIS or Kim Jong-un might be dangerous in their own vicinity, but our top level…

Ha! you guys have it easy, we northern European descended white males are in the same ethnic groups of about 99% of America's Biggest Jackasses. Every time the news comes on I regret my genetic heritage.

It was as though everyone had bloated.

Upvoted for biting sarcasm.

I thought he was competing with Elon Musk for super-villain status . Joke's on both of them, we have a restrictive set of membership rules and neither of those dorks have a real nemesis yet.

Yes, paying people minimum wage to wallow in other people's vile shit is reprehensible. What's fair compensation for corroding your soul?

I dressed as a burglar once and everybody thought I was a commando. If a girl insisted I was a walrus, I probably would have agreed with her.

And the chuds ran out the scary foreign people in the 1940s. Red Hook has always been a horrible place.