That's the sort of storytelling flair you should really commit to.

Enjoy the Eva Green.

Watched most of The Shannara Chronicles on Netflix. Not entirely sure why, because it's pretty terrible in many ways, and the male lead is just abysmal. Bland, low on acting talent, and completely lacking in chemistry with either of the other two leads (who after the first few episodes seem way more interested in each…

Blood I can handle. Pain I can mostly handle, although I do get extremely irritable. The sensation of metal under my skin is making my skin crawl just thinking about it.

I liked Stranger Things. I thought it was really good, and I'm looking forward to season two. That's everything I have to say about it, and I'm not going to miss Barb.

I needed my wisdom teeth out earlier this year. They gave me a choice between having it done in two operations under local anaesthetic, or one under general which would involve a longer wait.

Keira gets back to the future, but she's changed history and there's already another Keira. She gets to live in a better world and be friends with the future versions of Alec and Kagame, but never gets her family back.

Okay, so, I propose we launch a tactical nuclear strike on Greenville, South Carolina. All in favour?

I miss Billie Kent.

Clare Kramer was one half of Courtney and Whitney in Bring It On, probably the best sports movie ever to feature two recurring guest stars from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I think I've said this before, but Salma Hayek's snake dance in From Dusk Til Dawn is so ridiculously sexy that it actually makes it possible to ignore Quentin Tarantino sucking her foot.

She's a Bernie Bro-ess.

While she's definitely kicking a franchise while it's down, I have to give her credit for managing to do so while simultaneously complimenting Amy Adams.

There's nothing like a cold beer after a hard day's manual labour.

Maybe if you offer to wear a glove…

Gilmore Girls. A mother and daughter are friends in the most low-stakes drama imaginable, and it remains delightful for over 120 episodes.

It does explain a lot about Twilight, Teen Wolf, The Vampire Diaries, and, I assume, the various iterations of Beauty and the Beast.

… First thing I've heard that makes me even slightly interested in this film.

Aside from comedy rapist Owen Harper on Torchwood, Burn Gorman is probably most notable as Guy Who Gets Beaten Up By Catwoman in The Dark Knight Rises.

Maybe we should explain about this new thing called "internet pornography".